CHILD'S SELF-ESTEEM

How is a person's self-esteem formed?

And it is formed from the ideas of our loved ones about us. Our self-esteem is what our mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, sisters and brothers think about us, and most importantly, what they say about us.

What kind of self-esteem will a child have if he hears every day: “Are you stupid?”, “You’re such a lazy person”, “What kind of pig are you”?

One of the most common insights in my consultations is when a person suddenly realizes that he is not quite the way he thought he was all his life.

It turns out that the young woman is not “lazy”, but listens to her body, knows when to give herself a rest and no longer needs to blame herself for “laziness”.

Or that the young man is not “stupid” or “slow,” but simply has a certain type of nervous system and does everything more slowly than his mother’s friend’s son.

A child who is subjected to excessive criticism and neglect, ridicule of mistakes and failures by those closest to him, experiences difficulties in learning and communication.

In adulthood, such people find it difficult to realize themselves, and for some it is impossible at all. On the way to their goal, a person is often stopped by a voice from childhood: “You can’t do anything, as always” or “As usual, you’re ruining everything” or “How hard life will be for you, with such brains/character/appearance (insert your own).”

What should we do? Be vigilant!)) Be careful what we say to our children.

Yes, it is difficult, I know from my own experience. Yes, mistakes are inevitable. Yes, a parent is often out of resource.
But then I want to ask - who in your parent-child relationship is the adult who takes responsibility for his rest, for his words, for his emotions?