MY CHILD ANNOYS ME
For me, my irritation is a rather unpleasant thing. When I feel irritation towards a child, I am usually overwhelmed by a whole whirlwind of different feelings at once: there is indignation, and guilt, and anxiety, and a desire to protect my boundaries, and helplessness. Such an unpleasant whirlwind.For me, my irritation in our relationship with my son is about something unfinished, uncompleted, not received. It often arises where my unnecessary sacrifice occurs.
For example, I have my own things to do now, my son asks me to play with him. A prick of parental guilt occurs: “Come on, play, you need to spend more time with your child” -> I force myself, ignoring all my own affairs and desires, to agree to play something -> I feel growing irritation -> I can’t stand what has accumulated and I take out my irritation on my child.
Of course, knowing about such mean things as parental guilt injections, understanding what all this will lead to, now I can already indicate to the child my desires, my tasks right away, without bringing it to irritation. Or notice my irritation in time, share with the child that I am irritated now, because in fact I do not want to play, but I want this (explain to him my irritation, so that he does not take it personally).
But from time to time I still get caught and leak. It happens. I'm not a perfect parent.
The fact that we are able to get irritated at all means that our internal “alarm system” is working perfectly. Irritation is a message to us that something is not as we would like it to be at the moment.
Right now I suggest you reflect on your irritation, look at it, what is hidden there:
What need of yours is screaming out for you right now?
What is your irritation about for you?
how do you deal with him?
By the way, there is another thing called parental burnout. It is accompanied by a constant, almost never-ending feeling of irritation.
Parental burnout is a serious thing; if you don’t pay attention to your condition in time, then burnout can develop into depression.