WHEN YOU ARE ANGRIED BY A CHILD'S CRYING

One of my teachers once said: “You can always tell whether a person loves children or not by his reaction to children’s crying and screaming: if he gets mad and irritated, it means he doesn’t love children; if he reacts calmly, it means he loves them.”
I categorically disagree, but unfortunately, many adults think this way. Especially about themselves. Especially parents. They get very scared when they suddenly notice that their child’s crying makes them angry. The first thought is: “I’m a bad parent.”
Let me make it clear right away that humans have a natural reaction to a baby's crying. If this could be easily ignored, the human population would decrease significantly - the baby wants to eat, cries, but no one comes; the baby is in pain/uncomfortable, but again no one comes.

There can be many reasons for anger, irritation, and rage, besides banal fatigue:

Emotional burnout of a parent.
Your child’s crying can trigger (irritate) your own childhood traumas – it means that somewhere in your life there was a moment when your cry, your “call for help”, was not heard, not supported, not helped.
Also, not accepting tears, crying both in yourself and in others leads to negative internal reactions. Usually this comes from childhood experiences, when your tears were devalued and forbidden with the words “Boys don’t cry”, “Crying is not nice. You are not nice when you cry” and so on.

Can we talk about dislike for children or that the person is bad? Of course not.
But it is clear that help is needed. Help from loved ones, so that you can take a break. Help from psychologists, psychotherapists, to sort out and resolve personal feelings that arise along with the child's crying.

Here are some phrases a parent can say to their crying child, thereby developing empathy, compassion, and active listening (i.e., emotional intelligence skills) in themselves and in their child:

I'm with you
It's okay to be sad
I see that this upsets you very much, I sympathize with you, tell me why.
If you want to be alone, I understand you. I'm here, when you want - come back to me.