THE IDEAL IMAGE OF A CHILD

"Each of us has an image of the Ideal Child in our heads, and we try to bring our real child under this ideal image without noticing it. Whatever the baby does or says, we automatically compare his actions and words with the image of the Child in our heads, and if they match, we praise our son, if they do not, we condemn him. We can say that a living boy does not depend on his father or mother, but on his ideal peer who has settled in their heads. We do not raise children in our own image and likeness, almost no one knows their own image, but in some image we have made up,” says Simon Soloveichik in his book “Pedagogy for Everyone.”
I almost agree with this quote. I just don't agree that it's not in my image. Or rather, in his image too.
The ideal image of a child is formed in us based on various life experiences. Including the experience of personal failures and self-rejection, unloved character traits or, on the contrary, those that we do not have, but really want. From stereotypes imposed on us by the environment.
All this is processed and integrated into the image of the ideal child. So that he/she is the best version of ourselves, and does not repeat our mistakes.
That is why parents often get angry. Mom or dad are disappointed to notice that no matter how hard they try, the child does not want to follow this ideal. And they begin to shame the child, compare with others, and blame him for not living up to their expectations.
Have you noticed that many difficulties in parent-child relationships stem from the parent's self-perception? Self-rejection, idealization, high demands and expectations.
That is why it is so important for parents to first analyze themselves, their feelings and emotions, their behavior. And then draw a parallel with the child.
I understand that it is difficult to recognize and accept your shortcomings, mistakes, and imperfections. But when we let them in, it becomes easier, because honesty is freedom.

Do you think there is a connection between creating an Ideal image of a child and your internal Ideal image of a parent?