BE DIFFERENT

“Sometimes I feel big, like a bear, but someone is always bigger than me, and then I feel small.”

A person is always different.
This simple thought sometimes flies out of our consciousness.

Often we become fixated on a very limited perception of ourselves, which unfortunately has consequences.

For example, people who recognize only strength reject weakness, first of all in themselves.
If I perceive myself as exclusively strong, then I do not allow weakness to appear in others (both in children and in my partner).
I don't allow myself to be sick, otherwise I become weak.
It’s hard for me to ask for help, to accept help, because I’m strong, I can handle everything myself.
It’s difficult for me to show compassion and care for myself in difficult situations; it’s easier to scold and show strength.

A child who often experiences fear can become fixated on perceiving himself as a coward (sometimes not without the help of adults). And in the future, he will make decisions based on the fact that he is usually afraid of everything. And this means limiting himself in many ways.

But it can be different. It has not only limitations, but also choices and opportunities.

I can show strength in some places and weakness in others.
I can be kind, but also feel angry at the same time.
I can be successful somewhere and unsuccessful somewhere.
I can be one thing today, and tomorrow I can be another, because I am changing and the world is changing.

How can a parent give this understanding to a child?

Firstly, support:
Yes, you were scared. It's normal to be scared. Every person is scared of something.
This time you were scared, but it doesn't mean it will be the same next time.
Do you remember how bravely you learned to ride a bike (to show that in other situations the child reacts and acts differently).
You can always come back to this when you're ready.

Secondly, as always, by personal example.
If a parent does not accept himself as different, then he does not accept anyone as different, including the child!

What helps me personally, as a parent, to be different?
Knowing about it
Tendency to introspection
Knowledge about the origin of emotions
Personal therapy)))))) because it is not always easy